Neighbors

This is an introduction to my neighbors. I don't know if it's just me or this building that attracts the crazy. I'm slowly starting to think it's me.

Shawn & Michelle live right next door. Shawn is a big ol' queen who does drag. He's a recovering addict with Hep. C. Michelle is his twice ex wife and room mate. She has no front teeth and the concept of work is beyond her. They have three dogs. Inky, Fabio and Peaches. Inky and Fabio are Chinese crested and Peaches is a long haired chihuahua (seriously that's unnecessarily hard to spell.). They're all yippy dogs and just ugly. I'm sorry if you're a fan of those breeds but they're gross. Here's the real kicker though. The boys (Inky & Fabio) wear diapers so they don't have to take them outside or train them not to lift their leg. Peachy uses a puppy pad so the whole apartment always smells nasty. He's also home bound due to his medical issues. This means he can't go anywhere so I take him to his doctors appointments. I'm seriously to nice for my own good. I've spent so much money on gas and got nothing back it's crazy. This is not the end though we did 3 emergency room visits in one week. We hit Walgreen's at least once a week and he'll have at least two doctors appointments a week. They're also on food stamps and spend their food money on chocolate. I know for a fact they haven't bought anything for thanksgiving yet and only have $18 left on their card. It seriously baffles me. They also have me over to hang out all the time. Which is nice but weird to sit in their pee and poo house because of the dogs. I've introduced them to Doctor Who so they've been watching that and leaving me be lately. Thanks for taking that hit Doctor Who.

Stacey. He lived across the hall. I don't know much about him other than when he broke up with his girlfriend who lived with him their Parents got into a fight in the parking lot when she moved out. I also know he's over $800 in the rear on rent. At least that's what the note on his door said.

Amanda & Matt. They live upstairs with their 2 year old daughter Katie. They like to sit in their bathroom and smoke weed with the fan on because 'that won't hurt Katie'. They're really nice though they're pretty cool. By all means smoke what you want just don't make me worry about your baby.

Rose, her Mom and her Son. He's a sweet kid who's good at not getting hit by car in the parking lot when he's on his bike. Rose works really hard to keep them healthy and happy. They're normal but for her Mom. Her Mom is dating Mickey.

Mickey. He's a Vet and will tell you everything, much of which you don't want to know. He also says he's a pastor which is why he put cross like stakes in the yard. He also looks at all the women real weird like. He's told me to go put on more clothes when I had shorts on. Trust me when I say my clothes are far from skimpy so extremely far. He's also attempted to touch my hair which freaks me out. He's started feeding stray cats. Now I like cats but my apartment is to small to keep a pet. I really don't like pregnant cats running all around out building being fed till they have their kittens and the number of strays triples. And I really afraid of running one over when I back out of my spot or something.

These are all current neighbors. I had a vampire neighbor in the past who was really scary. He would skulk around on the roof not using the door to his apartment but the window. He was finally removed my mental services because he was getting dangerous with his golf clubs and constant screaming at all hours. The people who moved in there I haven't really bet yet but they seem to have a dog that looks like a pit bull. I LOVE dogs but not so much ones that can be seriously dangerous and cause renters insurance to go up.

Random 5: The next few songs on my i-pod that come up on shuffle. I promise not to cheat.
-The Wizard & I - Wicked (who doesn't love Wicked?)
-Mony Mony - Billy Idol (for all your 80's party needs!)
-Gap - The Kooks (really cool band. You should know this.)
-Navy Taxi - Kate Nash (I haven't come across one of her songs I didn't like or couldn't relate to.)
-The Guterati? - The Fratellis (They got a lot of attention when the i-pod commercial came out. Their newer album isn't quite as good but I still like it.)