Quarter Life

So... I turned 25. I know it shouldn't be a big deal but everywhere I go there's someone reminding me that it's a big deal. I got up the morning of my birthday and told my Mom I wasn't really happy about it. She said 'oh 25 was a great year for me. It was the year I married your Dad. But we got engaged when I was still 24'. Yet another reminder of how I'm not married. Then there were constant questions asking me if I was planning on buying a new car or buying a house and WTF no. I have a good job but it's not that good. Then there was my extended family who asked polite questions all centered around 'is there something bothering you?'.

How do you tell people that although you have a good life a job you love and are financially independent you're life is nothing like you imagined it be when you got to this point?

I know life is hardly ever what we expect and that lumps, bumps and set backs are what makes us who we are but really this is a bit much. I'm sure the winter blahs will pass and I'll feel better about things. Especially if I get awesome news by Jan. 11th.

Vacation all I ever wanted...

So... I think I might maybe take two vacations this year. This is all assuming I'm selected to go to Africa which is still pending though I did send my application in. What I'm really excited about at the moment is VidCon which is an internet video conference happening this summer in LA that I would only need to take two personal days to attend and my travel would cost under $500 which is sooo manageable plus there's the fact that registration is uber cheap and the hotel rate is beyond awesome at $149 a night in LA.

I'm really hoping that I can make this happen. I know for sure if Africa doesn't happen I'll be going. I just need to hold out to register till I know what's going on. Final selection for the trip isn't till Jan. 11th so I have to pray the con doesn't fill up right away.


Also I know I failed at BEDN so lets never speak of it again.

Weekends & Magic

I don't really have a normal weekend. I work the evening shift so I never get to see anyone ever. It's a pain int he ass. I don't really like to complain about it but it sucks so bad. No one is getting any holiday off and there isn't going to be any new staff till the new year. So basically no one can ever have an additional day off ever again.

Ugh. No complaining. I hate complaining.

If you haven't seen BBC's Merlin it's completely awesome and you should fun family actiony dramay good stuff for everyone. Really it's amazing and I love it and you should too. :)

Back to Friday

Soooo... I didn't post after work last night after work. I don't get home till midnight and I really didn't stay up to much later than that.

Nothing of note really happened yesterday. For real boring day nothing evened happened at work of interest. We had a nice honey mustard chicken and potatoes for work. And orange jello but I don't like orange jello.

like I said int he video I made... boring.

Could Do

Things I could do tomorrow before going to work...


-Clean out my car.
-Get my hair cut
-Clean my bathroom.
-Go to the bank.
-Do laundry.
-Finish my sewing project.
-Work on my mission application.

And about a million other things.


What I will be doing tomorrow. SLEEPING.

Friendship Quotes

Effy: Pandora, why are we friends? Do you ever wonder?
Pandora: Well that's super easy. You're my friend coz you're the coolest ever. And I'm yours coz I'd totally do anything you say, and none of your boyfriends ever wanna surf me coz I'm useless.
Effy: And that's it?
Pandora: Yeah.



If you haven't seen Skins before then you should simply because of the many different commentaries on friendships and how friendships change as people grow away from others and closer together. Seriously if you haven't seen it do.

I'm fortunate to have had the same best friend since pre-school. It's strange to have someone who's known you since the time you started to really form memories. It's strange to have that change over the years. My best friend recently got married and this is the first I've talked about it. Truth was I didn't know how to bring it up for a long time. It was a big shift to have to give my best friend up like that. Sure she had been dating this guy for 8 years but getting married officially made her someone elses best friend. It was just a strange moment to have everything change so quickly.

I've had other friendship changes too. Some people are in your life for an amazing time teaching you something amazing about yourself in the world and then they naturally drift away. I have some friends who taught me so much about myself and life that I will forever be in their debt. We're hardly more than facebook friends now saying happy birthday when the notifs come up or commenting on pictures they recently uploaded.

What never fails us are the memories. Friendships fleeting or forever we have the memories.

Nov/BEDN & Sad songs.

So back in April I did BEDA. Since it's NaNoWriMo and I have no intention of ever writing a novel I thought I'd bring back the BEDA philosophy and blog everyday of Nov. from here on out. Ambitious considering I can't really say to much about work anymore and the rest of my life is sad and boring.


So for today I guess I'll talk about some music. There are some songs out there that just make me cry. Sometimes I can't put my finger on it other times it's obviously words or melody and other times it's the connection to something else.

Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven If you've seen Mr. Holland's Opus you may remember the scene where he plays it for his class talking about how Beethoven was deaf after just finding out his son was deaf. Seriously breaks my heart.

Goodnight - Liz Calloway This one is words + performance that makes me sob. Here is a tid bit of the lyrics...

A world without the pain
That's stuck with you for far too long
A world that does contain
A love like mine to watch you grow strong

And when my time arrives
Please wait and make a place for me
For when I do arrive
Your face should be the first face I see

Dry away the tears
Lay aside your fears
No more pain for my love
You have now gone to sleep

Roses Theme- Murry Gold Yes, from the Doctor Who soundtrack because I'm lame. I just think of her standing on that beach crushed when this song plays. Ugh... seriously if you ever see the scene it will stay with you when you hear the theme.

I Can Only Imagine - Mercy Me Once again lame but I can't help it! Sometimes I just get in that place where I know I need the perspective of a song like this and it helps humble me and question what I would do in heaven in the presence of God.

Those You've Known - Spring Awakening Cast I won't spoil the show but this is the final song before bows.

Now they’ll walk on my arm through the distant night
And I won’t let them stray from my heart
Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light
I will read all their dreams to the stars



I'm sure there are others out there but that's my short list. I actually like to have a good dry sometimes so if you have any awesome songs that make you cry I want to know!

Lists!

1. I sprained my wrist at work. I fell on an OILED floor because the maintenance guy is a moron. I was wearing sneakers... sneakers on a wood floor. Seriously shouldn't have slipped if it weren't for the oil.

2. There's a lovely ugly purple spot huge bruise on my wrist.

3. It's really hard to type with a wrist brace on.

4. I'm rewatching Skins series 1 and I adore it forever and always.

5. I leave for Scotland in 13 days!