Grow Your Own

I just had to listen to my Mom give a speech about being anti-legalization of marijuana about 11 times in a row either making her practice it, recording it or editing it. All I want to do is punch myself in the face.


My person stance on the issue: I have far better more important things to worry about than what you grow and smoke.

I don't care. if you want to smoke it fine. I think it should be regulated like tobacco and alcohol thanks to people who do dumb shit like get stoned out of their minds and drive. As for people who use it medically... if it's helping you I'm for it. For those who get it 'medically' and abuse it / have no real reason for it, you're messing up the current system for others. You should be stoned (and not in the good way you want to be.).

In other news I'm am tired and grumpy hence why this is really to the point.

Lifeline

I learned the hard way today that I rely on my cellphone more than I feel I should. 3/4th of the way to work I realized I didn't have the stupid thing and had no time to go back to get it. I was stuck all day with lots of stress over this. I asked my Dad to look for it and he couldn't find it. I was beyond freaked out that I had seriously done something with it and it was lost for forever. I was tot he point where I was planning on dipping into my Africa money so I could go get a new phone. Ridiculous I know. This is on top of general work stress of crazy residents being crazy. And having to cook meals and grocery shop for the rest of the week as well as do my actual duties. It was beyond stressful. I seriously feel about 10 years older now because of it.

Turns out my phone was exactly where I thought it was and told my Dad to look he just couldn't find it at that one moment he looked. I still feel like quite the idiot for getting so stressed about something that shouldn't matter so much.

Busy busy

I love/hate busy days. I always like having stuff to do but when it's my day off I always just want to chill and do nothing. My job can be a mental and emotional train wreck so it's nice to have a break from that. This never, ever happens on a Sunday. Today's schedule:

7:30a Wake-up
9:15a Church
10:30a Second church where I work watching the kids.
12:30p Family lunch for grandparents birthday. (all kinds weird family stuff went down as always)
2:15p Pause to change clothes.
2:30p RiteAid run for new blush and tape.
3:00p Meeting (what I needed the tape for)
4:50p Arrived home. took a short nap.
6:00p Evening modern Worship service.
7:30p Dinner


It doesn't sound like a lot and there was a nap but I for real like to do NOTHING on days off. I'm a lazy bum I can't help it!

BEDA:Twenty Six

I know I'm a day behind but it's because 3-11p only leaves me an hour to post on the same day and I spend 40 of those mins. driving back home.

Sunday was fine. I went to church, my cousin was filling in for the pastor and talked about the Punisher vs. Batman. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who got it but that's ok he's 2 months younger than I am and in general the rest of the church is on average 75+.

lol the breeze ruffling the drapes on my windows is freaking the dog out making him bark. Poor little guy is shaking but it still makes me laugh.

Anyways after church I had work church. Book attempted to run away into traffic again and I was tempted to let her go but I didn't and she made me a picture so I guess it was an ok deal. I had to explain the concept of the holy ghost to Natalie who is adorable but the concept of 'a part of God living inside her' kind of freaked her out a little. I hope I didn't give her nightmares or something.

There was a nap in here and then I went to work. Our resident who went to the hospital was admitted and has some tiny blood clots so he's going to be there for a few day. It sucks for him but the house is finally going to stop smelling like pee because he'll be away for awhile. So lots of being nights for me coming up at work. The best news is though my boss told me I'm going to be on Day turn or 9-5 all of may! That's going to be beyond awesome.

BEDA:Eighteen

Why is it that when a really great music thing rolls into the area (by area I mean up to three hours away)I have to work the next morning and have no one to go with because it's on a tuesday night?

Neko Case is going to be in Cleveland and I want to go. Better yet it's $5 since I'm on the venue's mailing list. WHY MUST THE FORCES BE AGAINST ME WHEN IT COMES TO ALL THINGS AWESOME!?!?!?!?!

Stupid dark orbs.

Dark Orbs - Once upon a time I visited a psychic (I totally typed psycho first) right before we started college. The psychic told me I have dark orbs in my life. The she attempted to sell me a crystal to get rid of them. I did not buy said crystal and now when something annoying happens I blame the orbs.

In other news I am going back to sleep because I have to go to work tonight. Sleeping thought e pounding of tin is going to be fun. I love it when my Mother crafts and insists I come have dinner with them before work.

BEDA:Fourteen

I think I'm dying. Not really but I haven't been sick since Oct. so it's been awhile since I've felt this poopy and it seems worse than death because in death I doubt your nose drips semi-liquids. That was gross. Sorry.

So anyways I'm sick and it's my day off so I'm laying around enjoying my bed and the wireless at my parents house because I am a.)to sick to do anything else. b.) to lazy to do anything else and c.) all my old tissues are in a plastic bag under my pillow and if I do move the dog will get them and make a huge mess. (he has a passion for used tissues like none other).

On the upside I have nonapreils aka fancy snow caps from easter and am enjoying those. I'm also catching up on Bones. Why wasn't I watching this show before? Oh right I never watch the American Idol channel because I even hate American Idol commercials.

Things I still need to do today:
-get dressed not in pj's but clothes i can go out in.
-pack up my stuff
-get some groceries
-return to my apartment
-take the trash out
-call about new apartments to move to. (tomorrow)

eh. I'll be up and going by 3:30 I'll give myself 45 mins. Procrastination FTW!

BEDA:Twelve

Happy Easter everyone! I say Easter because that's what I celebrate. However this is going to be short because I need to leave for work in 10 mins. If I had interwebz at work I would do this there but alas I do not. So... yes short entry in a list FTW.

-Church, baby cuz Carson stole the show being cute. Sorry jesus you need a newsie had and suspenders to out cute this baby.
-Work church... 12 kids with candy 1 me. It was like thunder dome.
-Family coming over for eats. They started talking about 'culture' which turned into 'why are black people still mad about slavery then to irish people having the right to be mad for having work work for low wages and then to how much they had mexicans. So yeah.... special family time was indeed special.
-The sleep because I'm going to work.

which I'm leave for now. Bye!

BEDA:Ten

Last night we had our Seder at church. It was really fantastic and went a lot better this year including bringing in a full house from some of the other local churches. The symbolic meal worked great and everyone enjoyed the traditional real food. Seriously the lamb was amazing and so was the brisket and the chicken soup with matzoh balls.

So if you have no idea what I'm talking about here's a link that better explains the Christian Seder http://www.cresourcei.org/seder.html because I will fail at explaining it. Basically it's a traditional Passover Seder which takes the hidden unleavened bread and a fourth cup of wine that is the Eucharist.

In less religious news we're celebrating my Mom's birthday tonight so we're having chinese and an ice cream cake. which sounds amazingly good right now... and will no doubt be amazing later.

BEDA:Nine

I work 7a-3p yesterday came home... ok went shopping first got my Mom's birthday stuff and a dress for Easter then came home. I had some food and then got a call asking me to come back into work for 11p-7a.

The night shift is something I talk about a lot because it's so weird. It's sitting around for 8 hours ding some cleaning and making sure no ones dies. It's like daylight shift but dark and quiet meaning your mind plays tricks. I had the biggest freak out at 5:30am when I heard footsteps upstairs. The whole upstairs of the building is a construction site as they finish so we can move up there so at 5:30 am I as a normal person don't think anyone should be up there but I can totally hear people moving around. We don't have any weapons or anything for obvious reasons so I had to go up there and check to find three of the construction guys clomping around. WTF what construction crew starts at 5:30am? I know they're on a deadline but really that's early. by 6:30a they were cutting tile like there weren't people trying to sleep downstairs. It was just strange.


In more random kind of stuff I totally saw a coyote on my way home. I thought my Dad was trying to keep us from playing in the woods as kids but I really did have one cross in front of my car today. It makes me wonder what else he's been right about. Is 'Big Brother' really watching? *shifty eyes*

The problem with being a good person

The problem with being a good person is you don't get a day off. I work a tonnage of hours at my day job, keep the nursery for a church baby sit for a family with special needs children and do all kinds of favors for my family and friends. Don't get me wrong I like doing these things most of them time. I usually do most of them on the first of my two days off a week. Today is my second day off and all I want to do is relax. Instead of relaxing I'm doing cost analysis of fixing my Parents ceiling for the, having to run my neighbor with staff infection to the Doctors office and then possibly to the Cleveland Clinic if he doesn't have a ride, 'loaning' my sister more money and making some graphics for a friend. None of these things I really want to do.

All I want to do today is pay MY bills, go tot he grocery store, organize all my financial information, take out the trash (more complicated than it seems given the inch thing ice between my door and the dumpster) , make a video for my channel watch some blogtv and Chuck in 3D. The problem is doing all these things instead of the one at the top makes me seem like an extremely selfish person to those who need something from me.

I guess taking a day off is the worst thing to do when you're a good person.

Why I hate Christmas

It's shocking to most people when I say I hate Christmas. I go to church and get the whole Jesus thing, everyone loves gifts so it's not unusual for pretty much everyone to think I'm crazy. I hate Christmas so much because of my my Parents make it. The next five-ish weeks will be like pulling teeth for me. It's going to be a never ending stream of fights and pouting that I've witnessed annually for all of my memory. I honestly can't remember one truly happy Christmas season in all of my 23 years.

The official kick off of holiday hell is going on now. The Annual 'let bring up your dead parents fight'. This isn't an unusual fight for my Parents to have. When my Grandparents died my Dad had a lot of stuff he needed to work though. I think it's pretty understandable for the holiday season to be a hard time for him. My Mother in her infinite wisdom(crazy) likes to really poke at it this time of year. The quote from tonight 'What do you think your parents would have to say about that?'. This has been brought on with my mother being let go from her job. She'd upset so she must go an hurt everyone around her. This is also not unusual for her. Like I said this isn't an unusual fight but at holiday time it launches my Dad into a downward spiral of hurt and general grumpiness which I can understand. There's nothing like being depressed at Christmas missing those who have passed away.

I can honestly say much of my childhood and my current adult(ish) life would be much happier if my Parents would have (or would) separate. No child should have to see their parents threatening each other with knives in the kitchen. No kid should have to be a messenger from one room to another mid fight. I shouldn't have had to explain to my younger sister that things were OK when they weren't.

I should clarify that my Parents aren't abusive in a physical way. They like to go for the emotional and mental side of things where no one can see what's going on under the surface. Growing up there was no regulation for this kind of abuse in Ohio for spouses or children, especially when you have food to eat and the heat is on.

So why does all this happen at Christmas? I'm not 100% sure. I think it might have something to do with attempts at buying affection or making up for a whole year of hurting both of which never work out.

This is a bit of a ramble and I'm sorry for the emo. I'll try and let go of it soon and make the best of Christmas this year.

Picture Friday!

I've been having fun posting pictures so I decided to do a project I've done on a number of past crappy blogs (lj) I've had. So I take my camera (really my black berry because I'm to lazy to carry my real camera it's to big) around and take random photos throughout the day. It's been a pretty chill day and here's the proof.

It was about 65 degrees today with tons of sunshine. This is one of the many sunflowers we have outside my building. This is me looking up at the flower which are all about to the second floor windows. That's 10ft-ish.

Some of the craft ribbon I had on my desk from working on Christmas/birthday presents I'll be giving. If I don't' start now I'll never get them done. Yes, the ribbon says 'smile'.

An apple for lunch. I had a big breakfast so it was a nice choice. It was actually a really great apple. Something it's nice to just crunch into one when that's what you're really craving. The tape there is a new converter for the tape deck in my car so I can listen to my i-pod in all the speakers again!

The view from the drivers seat of my car trying to help my drag queen neighbor jump his car. I'm pretty sure he hooked it up wrong and blew his engine with a big ol' pop and a black puff of smoke. If he had blown mine I would have cried because neither of us have the money to get it fixed.

The i-pod connected and sitting on the passenger seat of my car. I really hate the radio (aside from NPR news) because of all the commercials and generally dislike a lot of the music they play.

Candy making! This would be white chocolate melting in the pot. We made white, yellow, red and gingerbread colored chocolate molds tonight. Renee our pastor's daughter helped out making a big mess but she was enthusiastic and fun and glad I brought music which I always do.

This is Renee's hand print in the hard tack candy we made. I think this was the watermelon batch. We made peppermint, peach, watermelon, root beer and strawberry.

Finished hard tack coated with powdered sugar so it doesn't stick together in the bags. It's pretty cool when it's hard in a flat sheet you hit it with pretty much anything and it shatters like crazy. It always makes me thing of the sugar art people do on the food network.

All the candy we made is going to be sold for the church. Usually most churches have old ladies that do the work but our old ladies are to old so my Mom and Aunt do it. I got roped in yet again this year. I was also signed up to make 10 dozen cookies. That's a crazy amount of cookies and all of one kind. I'm making basic sugar with chocolate drizzle on top. Simple and pretty.

To be filed under random and funny: I changed my face book status the other day to 'Going to Mexico with Manda' (Manda is my best friend since pre-school). I got all kinds of comments from people saying 'to have fun on my trip'. I'm not going to Mexico. We were at the Mexican restaurant in town that we all call 'Mexico'. I in no way have money to go to Mexico and if I had money for a trip I can think of 10 places I would go before Mexico.

Random 5: Places I would go before Mexico.

-Amsterdam. I always thought it looked like an interesting place for relatively obvious reasons.

-Ireland. I've heard lovely things and would love to check it out for myself.

-Egypt. I've never been to the desert so I need to go... and they have Pyramids.

-Greece. Ancient things look so amazing and I've been told the people of the Greek islands are lovely.

-Bar Harbor, Maine. I've been before. It's really beautiful and I would love to visit again. You can see whales from the road!

Scotland!

First things first, Scotland is my favorite country I've visited so far. Honestly I would move there tomorrow. Well not tomorrow because I don't even have enough money to get there let alone live and Barack Obama WON so I don't feel the urge to flee at the moment. I did get to flee this summer though and that's what this is about.

Going anywhere with my family is like a ticking time bomb of extremely bad doom and nothing good can come from it. I learned this at the age of oh I'll go with seven. I went into this trip with hope, hope I would make it though with my sanity in tact. That might be questionable.

Our trip started off OK. Cleveland to Newark and everything was running pretty on time. You can't really beat that. The flight to Edinburgh was long as to be expected but I managed to sleep some which was nice. We arrived to a city under construction. I hadn't anticipated that because I was at camp and couldn't do my usual crazy intense pre-travel research. Though I did manage to book all the hotels and such we stayed in but one. Anyways, Edinburgh is making it's transit system all fancy which is really cool. I hope to go back and try it out when it's all done. The other big thing going on was the Fringe (and about 3 other festivals I think.). We planned this being the theater nuts we are. While there we went to see two shows. I would have loved to see more but time and such wouldn't allow for it. We saw a great show called 'Crossing the Rubicon' that was about young people and the dangers of drinking. It sounds stupid but it was actually really good and was presented well. Just my sister and I went to see it so it was nice to be without the Parents for a bit. They went down to see the palace. We met up then to see 'The Last 5 Years' which is a musical I've been a fan of for awhile. It was really great and I sat in the front row making it even more awesome. You just can't ever sit that close here. While in Edinburgh we also went to see the Castle which is a must and completely awesome. Generally if there's a plaque around I'll be reading it. This kills my family and everyone around me because they just skip these things. The whole experience is a lot more historic and educational if you read them (yes, I'm a nerd like that). The other big highlight of Edinburgh was hurting my back. Don't ask me how I did it because I have no idea. I just know it made the rest of the trip seriously painful. So off to a great start right?

That's my sister with something in her teeth. I tried to tell her where it was but she didn't get it. SO I took a picture so she could see...and said I deleted it. I didn't. Yes, I'm evil.

Up next was Glasgow. It doesn't make sense to really be next but like I said I didn't get the choice of order. This was also where I didn't book the hotel. From what I understand Glasgow gets a bad wrap with the whole being 'glassed' thing. It reminds me of Pittsburgh and Youngstown near where I live. They have grossly high murder rates so I guess I felt at home even though everyone told me to be afraid of people with knives. I think I liked it so much because I have a friend there! She's also the first 'Internet friend' I've ever met. Let me tell you it was freaking awesome to actually walk around with someone I've been e-mailing and writing with for over a year. In Glasgow we did the city and went to church. It sounds like a weird thing to do on vacation but it's pretty freaking sweet going to church in a giant cathedral. My home church is 100 years old but Glasgow Cathedral is pretty sweet. I also got to go t a sci-fi convention and pick up a bunch of Doctor Who stuff. I can't get it in America and that makes me sad inside. We also partied it up with a Sontaran. No that isn't an insult to short people. So coming back from the bar which was just a block from our hotel my sister stops walking half way there (on a big hill) and in her drunken stupidity demanded I call a cab to take her the rest of the way. You could see the hotel from where we were so I had to push her up the hill. Fun times. When we get there things are just magical as the ceiling of our room starts leaking and we have to change rooms. All a great adventure in repacking your stuff while a bit tipsy still and helping my sister who was drunk up the stairs.

Next we headed up North to Inverness! It's a lot colder up there, or at least it was when we were there. Really, really beautiful place and it reminded me a lot of good ol' East Liverpool, Ohio. Only it was bigger, has boats to Loch Ness a cool museum and you could see dolphins from our B&B. That's right dolphins. So we went to the museum and we went to see the soccer stadium. So I have a soccer scarf which is petty awesome in my world. I think the reality is much different but hey I'm cool like that. We also went to their awesome museum and out to loch ness. No monster but it was really beautiful. This was when I got sick of my Mom talking about 'Nessie' and herself being 'kindred spirits'. I'm a little disappointed in all my pictures from Scotland but mostly from Loch Ness. I also went shopping at Lush for the second time in Inverness. It was nice to just walk past one instead of having to drive two hours to get awesome soap. I was also forced to eat pizza and I was annoyed, why have pizza when we could have something new.

Our final stop was Newtonmore. Oh, you don't know where that is? Neither did I till my Dad said we were going to the Clan MacPherson museum. If you asked me to point to Newtonmore on a map I would have to seriously look for it. I know it's on the way from Inverness to Edinburgh. The museum was pretty nice and I learned some random stuff about my family clan. I also got to see the actual fiddle from the 'McPherson's Rant/Lament' song which was pretty cool. There was also a book of 'famous MacPherson's' that included some dude who committed identity theft of the name McPherson. The caption that I'll never forget "Stealing the name McPherson is a serious offense in America". My sister and I also had a great time posing like the angry wild cat that is on the clan crest. Newtonmore itself is tiny and one street. There's all kinds of stuff about Monarch of the Glen around since it was filmed in the area. My Mom loved that because she was the show on BBCAmerica. We were greeted and waved off by the cows in the field across from the train station. I can't really be to snarky about that though because East Liverpool doesn't have a train or bus station to call it's own.

Yes, I look gross and I posted it. I was being a Scottish 'wild cat' it was funny at the time.

The flight home from Edinburgh sucked. It was really late getting in and you have to go through customs even though we hadn't arrived at out destination. Then our flight from Newark to Cleveland was delayed followed by sitting on the plane three hours before we took off. So that put us in Cleveland really late for the two hour drive home. That was a hellish trip in the car with a dead i-pod and crabby people.

Then I slept for two weeks. I never really got to recover from camp so vacation on top of camp was like death and I seriously slept for days. I didn't talk to friends, I didn't do anything. Then I had t go get my car from Buffalo (see previous Camp blog) only to find it was still broken. You could drive it but there was no way of telling how much gas was in it or how fast you were going. So it took another two weeks to get fixed.

To finish up much like I started Scotland is the country I would most love to move to. Even with the rain (though it only rained once when we were there and that was at night.) and generally being much colder I loved it completely.

Random 5: Beverages

-Diet Coke

-Beer

-Cranberry Juice & Diet Sprite mixed together

-Apple Juice

-Chocolate Milk